Paradise Lost - My Ending
by PromiseThis101
Summary: This story is set in Pardise Lost after Reed gets pushed off the boat in St. Barth's. Everything is the same up to then. When Reed wakes up everything is different. She has choices to make and problems to face once again. But will she remember?
1. The Calm

Disclaimer: I do not own the Private series, Kate Brian does.

I was floating. Drifting through an invisible sea. I forgot all about being pushed off a boat. I forgot all about the people who seemed to be continuously after me. I forgot about everyone. I was peaceful just floating and being detached from all of my emotions. I no longer cared that I was the cause of so much pain, that too many people had been damaged because of me. Thomas was leading a girl on who was mentally unstable it was only a matter of time before she snapped. I knew Cheyenne didn't have to die. She didn't deserve that. Maybe someone else would have been collateral for Arianna and her crazy sister Sabine's motives. Ivy was also someone else who nearly died because of me. She helped me when no one else would and let led to a bullet in her chest. However I didn't feel guilt in this sea of solitude. I just acknowledged these events. Maybe I was dead. I didn't care at this moment. For once in my life I wasn't looking over my shoulder and trying to pass exams. Thinking about Ivy led me to Josh. I could picture exactly his green eyes and imagine the smudges of paint that seemed to be present on every clothing item he owned. He hadn't called me yet as promised. He chose Ivy over me. I could understand some of his reasoning behind that though. He got his girlfriend shot by trying to save his old one. I was still mad at him though. Noelle immediately got things back to normal between us but Josh decided to stay with Ivy. I couldn't dwell on the past now I had Upton Giles at my fingertips. The gorgeous Upton with his perfect smile and strong arms. But he left me too. He went after Poppy when she walked in on Upton and I half naked laying on top of each other in Mrs Ryan's bedroom. Which led to me going on deck and being pushed off the boat. And despite all of that it didn't even bother me. I enjoyed this safe haven free from danger and emotions. I wasn't even upset that I was dead. Maybe I would see Thomas again. The first and only boy I had sex with. I swirled my hands around in whatever fluid I was in and slowly started feeling my eyes grow heavier. I hoped I would open them again but at the moment I couldn't care less.


	2. Sleep

_Disclaimer: Kate Brian owns the Private Series._

"Reed wake up. Reed come on".

I faintly heard these words growing louder but still couldn't distinguish where I was or who was talking. I couldn't even remember what happened fully.

"For God's sake can't the doctors do something? It's been nearly four days!" someone exclaimed. I slightly recognized the voice but was still unable to do anything. Where was I? And why couldn't I wake up? They mentioned doctors so I must be in a hospital. I started to get worried and confused. I tried to listen and get more information from the voices before my heart stopped from all the emotions rushing through me. I tried to think of the last thing that happened. The voices turned to mumbles and it felt like years later before I could distinguish them again.

This time I recognized the voice that spoke.

"Reed? I don't know if you can hear me but you are a fighter and can get through this. I know you can. And if you don't wake up soon I will personally kill you," Noelle Lange said with a small laugh at the end. She wasn't the person I expected to hear but it gave me a happy giddy feeling. I vaguely wondered why she was here and why she wasn't calling me Glass-Licker.

But she was right. Before Noelle could say anything else I heard a mumble from another person.

"There's been no change yet," Noelle said. She must have been talking to the other person. "The doctors said that every patient in a coma is different so they have no idea how long it might be", she continued.

Coma? I was in a coma! No I couldn't be, I could hear them. I just needed to wake up fully. I tried with everything I had to open my eyes but I don't think they wavered at all.

"She will wake up any day now. I feel it," the words were spoken by my father. I couldn't believe it. I just wanted to jump up and give him a hug. Have him tell me everything was ok. I could feel some warmth on my hand and realised that someone must be holding it. This was great it meant my senses were coming back. I was going to wake up. I was not going to be beaten. I would figure out what happened and continue on with my life.

"I could never get rid of her when we were younger," Scott, my older brother, said and I could hear the smile in his voice. "Constantly following us around. She will wake up just to annoy me." I laughed in my head at my brother. It had been so long since I had last seen them.

I wondered where my mother was. She was probably in the bed next to me getting a blood transfusion from the amount of drugs that were probably in my system. Or else giving out about the bills I'm sure were accumulating because of me. I couldn't worry about her right now, I had more pressing matters such as waking up.

I felt myself slipping out of consciousness again. I just hoped the next time I woke I would be able to open my eyes.


	3. Awake

My eyelids grew lighter and lighter. I could see a white light and feel senses returning to by body. I was finally waking up. I looked around the room blinking trying to adjust to the light. I was right it looked like I was in a hospital. White walls, uncomfortable bed, and flowers by the window. What surprised me the most was in the chair next to my bed my mother sleeping quietly. She looked like she gained some weight and was healthy. Was she off her pills? I didn't want to get my hopes up. The last time I saw her she said I didn't deserve to go to Easton and refused to even look at me she was so disgusted.

"Reed?" Scott whispered my name from the other side of my bed where he was sprawled in an armchair. When he saw me look at him he jumped up and ran to envelop me in a huge hug. I couldn't contribute much because I was so weak but he didn't seem to mind.

"God Reed we were all so worried! I can't believe you're finally awake. I knew you would make it," Scott said enthusiastically with a huge smile on his face as he pulled away from me.

My mother started to stir from the noise and she opened her eyes and just sat there looking shocked, like she couldn't believe this was real. I didn't know what to say to her. I didn't want to hear what she had to say either. But to my surprise she also leaped up and gave me a hug that started to hurt.

"Hi mom," I tried to say but it came out all raspy. What happened to me? Just then in walked my father carrying three cups of what I assumed to be coffee.

"Reed!" he exclaimed shocked and also came straight over to embrace me. I was so happy to finally be able to see them and hug them.

"What happened? Where am I?" I managed to squeak out. My voice was all raspy and dry and my body felt like it had been shoved in a blender.

"You're in hospital Reed. You ended up in the water on your night out on the yacht. You're friends realised you were missing and searched everywhere for you. They called to inform us and sent out a private plane to collect us. It had nearly been two days before you were found washed up on the beach. No one could believe you made it," my dad said shaking his head and gripping my hand.

I was beyond confused what boat and friends was he talking about? A private plane did he say? This had to be a dream but my stiff body and burning throat told me otherwise.

"What are you talking about? When was I ever on a yacht?" I said baffled. Our upbringing in Croton didn't exactly scream wealth. Another thought hit me suddenly. "Where's Thomas?" I asked looking at all three of them, my family. I had to see him too.

My family exchanged looks with each other. Shock was written all over their faces.

"Reed sweety," my mam gently said to me. "What is the last thing you remember?"

All my family was staring at me intently. Worry written on all of their faces, even my mother's.

I tried to think of what I last remembered. It hurt my head but I persisted. Thomas. Easton. Billings. I had slept with Thomas. It made me blush thinking about that perfect moment in front of my family. It made me long to see him again. I also moved into Billings and stole that stupid test for them.

"I live in Billings and share a room with Natasha. I can't remember the exact last thing I did. Where's Thomas I'm sure he can fill in the gaps," I whispered to them my voice slowly getting louder.

Suddenly Scott stood up straight and rushed towards the door. "I'll get the doctor," he said and then he was gone. I gave confused looks to my parents who had pity and sadness in their eyes.

"I have to tell you something Reed," my dad said as he slowly walked towards the window rubbing his face. I could feel my heart beating so fast I was sure smoke would start rising out of all the machines I was hooked up to. Something was definitely wrong.

"Thomas – " he began but was cut off by my mom.

"We can talk about that when the doctor comes," she cut in. "Here have some water". She held a glass up to my lips and helped me take a few sips. I still wondered when I would see the drugged out side to her.

The door then opened and in walked Noelle Lange. She didn't look as put together as normal wearing jeans a t-shirt and minimal makeup. Her ponytail also had loose strands coming out. It was odd to see her in such disorder. She still looked amazing though. As soon as she saw me she broke into a grin and ran to give me a hug.

"I can't believe it," she gushed. "I was going out of mind! Are you ok?"

To say that I was confused was an understatement. The last time I saw Noelle I think she was telling me about all of the chores she lined up for me in Billings that day. She noticed by confused expression and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Of course you're not ok. What happened Reed? We couldn't find you on the boat and then I saw my necklace I gave you on the deck and I knew something was wrong," she gushed. She looked at me with worry and concern while I just gawked back at her with amazement.

Then in strolled a tanned doctor with jet-black hair. He looked to be in his forty's.

"Hello Reed. I'm Doctor Green," he said with a small smile and he had a slight accent. "I have a few questions I would like to ask you."

"Sure," I hesitantly said.

"Would you like privacy?" he asked eying the four others in the room.

Before they could protest I said a quick "No".

"You can say whatever in front of them," I told Dr Green.

He started with a few basics: my name, date of birth, where I lived. He jotted down notes in his clipboard.

"And todays date?" he asked.

Oh I had to think about that. I started to get worried that I didn't know it straight away. I thought back to when I started at Easton it wasn't that long ago was it? After my hesitation Dr Green interrupted my thoughts by asking if I knew the year instead. That was easier it was 2011.

Once I said that answer the whole room went stiff. I looked around at my family and Noelle hoping they would fill me in on what I said wrong.

Dr Green cleared his throat and continued with his questions. Meanwhile I was getting more nervous.

"What year are you in Reed?"

"Sophomore" I replied with no hesitation.

"What is going on?" demanded Noelle suddenly standing up from my bed and turning towards the doctor. She looked scary and determined. If I was the doctor I would be shaking but he barely acknowledged her.

"Please Ms Lange if you cannot remain quiet I will have to ask you leave wile I examine Ms Brennan's injuries," he said with a no nonsense look. Noelle looked confused as I felt and I could see she wanted to shout something but she bit her tongue and turned back towards me.

"What school do you attend?" Dr Green continued.

"Easton Academy". As soon as I said that I saw a few tense shoulders relax. What was going on? I interrupted the next question with one of my own.

"Why is everyone acting so strange? Where is Thomas?" I asked looking at everyone hoping someone would give me a straight answer. But they all looked scared, even Noelle and I turned to the doctor. He remained expressionless and asked another question.  
"Who is Thomas?"

"My boyfriend," I said in a 'Duh' tone as if that was obvious.

"Do you know where you are Ms Brennan?" he questioned me not even writing the last answer down.

"In a hospital, whatever one is nearest Easton I assume."

"And do you know how you ended up here?"

He had me there. No matter how much I tried to remember I couldn't recall what happened.

"No," I said in a small voice. The room was quiet for a few moments.

"Ms Brennan I'm afraid I have some bad news for you," Dr Green said. I looked up at him and saw that he wasn't joking. He looked like he was about to tell me I had a week to live. My palms started to sweat and I didn't know where to look. I wasn't sure I wanted to hear this.

"Your accident caused you to have major head injuries," he stated. I noticed how he didn't mention any details of my accident.

"You were in a coma for six days," he continued. "I believe you have suffered from memory loss. You have amnesia I'm afraid".

No that can't be true. It can't. He was wrong. I remembered everything about my life. But is that why everyone was looking at me like I lost my mind? I couldn't breathe. I stared at the people gathered around my bed wondering when they were going to tell me it was a joke. None of them did. They each looked at me with pity, sadness and shock.

Scott then walked over to me with the newspaper in his hands and held it out for me. I took it with trembling fingers and turned it over for the date. I gasped when I read it. It was not the date I was expecting.

Just then the door burst open and a tall boy with light hair stood in the doorway wearing jeans and a white t-shirt. He had muscular arms, a structured face and a toned body from what I could see. To say he was handsome was an understatement. He rushed over to my bedside past my parents and grabbed my hand.

"I just got here and heard you were awake," he said with panic in his voice. "Are you ok? Do you want anything? I'm so sorry about what happened. Please forgive me Reed." He was staring into my eyes begging me to say something.

But I didn't know who he was. Did I really have memory loss? Just looking at him made me want to say anything to make him happy. No, I had Thomas and this guy was a stranger. I slowly removed my hand from his grip and ignored the hurt in his face.

"I'm sorry," I managed to stutter out. "I don't know who you are". I whispered the last bit while looking at my blanket. Clearly he thought he knew me and I didn't want to cause him pain.

"Upton! Now is not the time for that!" Noelle yelled out.

"Yes I'm afraid I need to speak with Reed alone," Dr Green said sternly. Before anyone could protest he strolled over to the door and opened it. Slowly everyone began leaving the room. I just looked out the window. I was too confused by everything at the moment.

Once everyone left Dr Green closed the door and pulled a chair beside my bed.

"Ms Brennan do you understand that you have suffered from memory loss?" he said gently.

I thought about it for a moment. Everything that I saw and heard really supported that. "Yes, I guess so," I whispered, my throat still sore.

"Memory loss can be from the cause of a serious head trauma or also a series of emotional events in your life that cause your subconscious to block it out. In your case I believe it is because of both of these things," he went on.

"What kind of emotional events are you talking about?" I timidly asked, half afraid of the answer. If these 'events' were so emotional and really caused me to block them out then it made me wonder how bad they were.

"Well I don't think I should tell you. You see it is hard to say if people with memory will regain their memory. The best way to try and make this possible is for them to try and remember on their own. Maybe only bits will come back now and then. Sometimes people wake up one day and remember everything."

I decided to ask the question I was most afraid of.

"How much of my memory have I lost?" I asked.

Dr Green bowed his head and then looked up at me again. "It's difficult to pinpoint it exactly. From talking to you and your friends I would have to say about a year and a half."

What! Was he serious? No, no, no. I did not lose any of my memory. Ok I didn't know who that guy was but he could be any random weirdo. Yes Noelle was awfully friendly to me but that didn't mean anything. She always seemed a bit bipolar. Scott showed me the newspaper though I couldn't deny that. Maybe this was all a joke? My hopeful thoughts were quickly diminished by the aching all over my body and reality setting in. I can't believe that I can forget nearly two years of my life. That is crazy. I felt like I was having a panic attack and told myself to keep breathing.

"I know you are probably having difficulty comprehending this," he said. You don't say. "It will take some time to adjust but your friends and family will help you along. I'll have a counsellor come to talk to you also. Do you have any questions?" Dr Green asked with a sympathetic smile.

Yes about a million and one. Only one seemed like a normal question though. "When will I be allowed go home?"

"In a week or so. It depends on your physical progress. As you may have guessed you fell off a boat and were washed ashore. This has taken a major toll on your body so take it easy." He got up and walked to the door. "I'll have to talk with your family now so you should get some rest". Then he left.


	4. Confusion

My eyelids grew lighter and lighter. I could see a white light and feel senses returning to by body. I was finally waking up. I looked around the room blinking trying to adjust to the light. I was right it looked like I was in a hospital. White walls, uncomfortable bed, and flowers by the window. What surprised me the most was in the chair next to my bed my mother sleeping quietly. She looked like she gained some weight and was healthy. Was she off her pills? I didn't want to get my hopes up. The last time I saw her she said I didn't deserve to go to Easton and refused to even look at me she was so disgusted.

"Reed?" Scott whispered my name from the other side of my bed where he was sprawled in an armchair. When he saw me look at him he jumped up and ran to envelop me in a huge hug. I couldn't contribute much because I was so weak but he didn't seem to mind.

"God Reed we were all so worried! I can't believe you're finally awake. I knew you would make it," Scott said enthusiastically with a huge smile on his face as he pulled away from me.

My mother started to stir from the noise and she opened her eyes and just sat there looking shocked, like she couldn't believe this was real. I didn't know what to say to her. I didn't want to hear what she had to say either. But to my surprise she also leaped up and gave me a hug that started to hurt.

"Hi mom," I tried to say but it came out all raspy. What happened to me? Just then in walked my father carrying three cups of what I assumed to be coffee.

"Reed!" he exclaimed shocked and also came straight over to embrace me. I was so happy to finally be able to see them and hug them.

"What happened? Where am I?" I managed to squeak out. My voice was all raspy and dry and my body felt like it had been shoved in a blender.

"You're in hospital Reed. You ended up in the water on your night out on the yacht. You're friends realised you were missing and searched everywhere for you. They called to inform us and sent out a private plane to collect us. It had nearly been two days before you were found washed up on the beach. No one could believe you made it," my dad said shaking his head and gripping my hand.

I was beyond confused what boat and friends was he talking about? A private plane did he say? This had to be a dream but my stiff body and burning throat told me otherwise.

"What are you talking about? When was I ever on a yacht?" I said baffled. Our upbringing in Croton didn't exactly scream wealth. Another thought hit me suddenly. "Where's Thomas?" I asked looking at all three of them, my family. I had to see him too.

My family exchanged looks with each other. Shock was written all over their faces.

"Reed sweety," my mam gently said to me. "What is the last thing you remember?"

All my family was staring at me intently. Worry written on all of their faces, even my mother's.

I tried to think of what I last remembered. It hurt my head but I persisted. Thomas. Easton. Billings. I had slept with Thomas. It made me blush thinking about that perfect moment in front of my family. It made me long to see him again. I also moved into Billings and stole that stupid test for them.

"I live in Billings and share a room with Natasha. I can't remember the exact last thing I did. Where's Thomas I'm sure he can fill in the gaps," I whispered to them my voice slowly getting louder.

Suddenly Scott stood up straight and rushed towards the door. "I'll get the doctor," he said and then he was gone. I gave confused looks to my parents who had pity and sadness in their eyes.

"I have to tell you something Reed," my dad said as he slowly walked towards the window rubbing his face. I could feel my heart beating so fast I was sure smoke would start rising out of all the machines I was hooked up to. Something was definitely wrong.

"Thomas – " he began but was cut off by my mom.

"We can talk about that when the doctor comes," she cut in. "Here have some water". She held a glass up to my lips and helped me take a few sips. I still wondered when I would see the drugged out side to her.

The door then opened and in walked Noelle Lange. She didn't look as put together as normal wearing jeans a t-shirt and minimal makeup. Her ponytail also had loose strands coming out. It was odd to see her in such disorder. She still looked amazing though. As soon as she saw me she broke into a grin and ran to give me a hug.

"I can't believe it," she gushed. "I was going out of mind! Are you ok?"

To say that I was confused was an understatement. The last time I saw Noelle I think she was telling me about all of the chores she lined up for me in Billings that day. She noticed by confused expression and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Of course you're not ok. What happened Reed? We couldn't find you on the boat and then I saw my necklace I gave you on the deck and I knew something was wrong," she gushed. She looked at me with worry and concern while I just gawked back at her with amazement.

Then in strolled a tanned doctor with jet-black hair. He looked to be in his forty's.

"Hello Reed. I'm Doctor Green," he said with a small smile and he had a slight accent. "I have a few questions I would like to ask you."

"Sure," I hesitantly said.

"Would you like privacy?" he asked eying the four others in the room.

Before they could protest I said a quick "No".

"You can say whatever in front of them," I told Dr Green.

He started with a few basics: my name, date of birth, where I lived. He jotted down notes in his clipboard.

"And todays date?" he asked.

Oh I had to think about that. I started to get worried that I didn't know it straight away. I thought back to when I started at Easton it wasn't that long ago was it? After my hesitation Dr Green interrupted my thoughts by asking if I knew the year instead. That was easier it was 2011.

Once I said that answer the whole room went stiff. I looked around at my family and Noelle hoping they would fill me in on what I said wrong.

Dr Green cleared his throat and continued with his questions. Meanwhile I was getting more nervous.

"What year are you in Reed?"

"Sophomore" I replied with no hesitation.

"What is going on?" demanded Noelle suddenly standing up from my bed and turning towards the doctor. She looked scary and determined. If I was the doctor I would be shaking but he barely acknowledged her.

"Please Ms Lange if you cannot remain quiet I will have to ask you leave wile I examine Ms Brennan's injuries," he said with a no nonsense look. Noelle looked confused as I felt and I could see she wanted to shout something but she bit her tongue and turned back towards me.

"What school do you attend?" Dr Green continued.

"Easton Academy". As soon as I said that I saw a few tense shoulders relax. What was going on? I interrupted the next question with one of my own.

"Why is everyone acting so strange? Where is Thomas?" I asked looking at everyone hoping someone would give me a straight answer. But they all looked scared, even Noelle and I turned to the doctor. He remained expressionless and asked another question.  
"Who is Thomas?"

"My boyfriend," I said in a 'Duh' tone as if that was obvious.

"Do you know where you are Ms Brennan?" he questioned me not even writing the last answer down.

"In a hospital, whatever one is nearest Easton I assume."

"And do you know how you ended up here?"

He had me there. No matter how much I tried to remember I couldn't recall what happened.

"No," I said in a small voice. The room was quiet for a few moments.

"Ms Brennan I'm afraid I have some bad news for you," Dr Green said. I looked up at him and saw that he wasn't joking. He looked like he was about to tell me I had a week to live. My palms started to sweat and I didn't know where to look. I wasn't sure I wanted to hear this.

"Your accident caused you to have major head injuries," he stated. I noticed how he didn't mention any details of my accident.

"You were in a coma for six days," he continued. "I believe you have suffered from memory loss. You have amnesia I'm afraid".

No that can't be true. It can't. He was wrong. I remembered everything about my life. But is that why everyone was looking at me like I lost my mind? I couldn't breathe. I stared at the people gathered around my bed wondering when they were going to tell me it was a joke. None of them did. They each looked at me with pity, sadness and shock.

Scott then walked over to me with the newspaper in his hands and held it out for me. I took it with trembling fingers and turned it over for the date. I gasped when I read it. It was not the date I was expecting.

Just then the door burst open and a tall boy with light hair stood in the doorway wearing jeans and a white t-shirt. He had muscular arms, a structured face and a toned body from what I could see. To say he was handsome was an understatement. He rushed over to my bedside past my parents and grabbed my hand.

"I just got here and heard you were awake," he said with panic in his voice. "Are you ok? Do you want anything? I'm so sorry about what happened. Please forgive me Reed." He was staring into my eyes begging me to say something.

But I didn't know who he was. Did I really have memory loss? Just looking at him made me want to say anything to make him happy. No, I had Thomas and this guy was a stranger. I slowly removed my hand from his grip and ignored the hurt in his face.

"I'm sorry," I managed to stutter out. "I don't know who you are". I whispered the last bit while looking at my blanket. Clearly he thought he knew me and I didn't want to cause him pain.

"Upton! Now is not the time for that!" Noelle yelled out.

"Yes I'm afraid I need to speak with Reed alone," Dr Green said sternly. Before anyone could protest he strolled over to the door and opened it. Slowly everyone began leaving the room. I just looked out the window. I was too confused by everything at the moment.

Once everyone left Dr Green closed the door and pulled a chair beside my bed.

"Ms Brennan do you understand that you have suffered from memory loss?" he said gently.

I thought about it for a moment. Everything that I saw and heard really supported that. "Yes, I guess so," I whispered, my throat still sore.

"Memory loss can be from the cause of a serious head trauma or also a series of emotional events in your life that cause your subconscious to block it out. In your case I believe it is because of both of these things," he went on.

"What kind of emotional events are you talking about?" I timidly asked, half afraid of the answer. If these 'events' were so emotional and really caused me to block them out then it made me wonder how bad they were.

"Well I don't think I should tell you. You see it is hard to say if people with memory will regain their memory. The best way to try and make this possible is for them to try and remember on their own. Maybe only bits will come back now and then. Sometimes people wake up one day and remember everything."

I decided to ask the question I was most afraid of.

"How much of my memory have I lost?" I asked.

Dr Green bowed his head and then looked up at me again. "It's difficult to pinpoint it exactly. From talking to you and your friends I would have to say about a year and a half."

What! Was he serious? No, no, no. I did not lose any of my memory. Ok I didn't know who that guy was but he could be any random weirdo. Yes Noelle was awfully friendly to me but that didn't mean anything. She always seemed a bit bipolar. Scott showed me the newspaper though I couldn't deny that. Maybe this was all a joke? My hopeful thoughts were quickly diminished by the aching all over my body and reality setting in. I can't believe that I can forget nearly two years of my life. That is crazy. I felt like I was having a panic attack and told myself to keep breathing.

"I know you are probably having difficulty comprehending this," he said. You don't say. "It will take some time to adjust but your friends and family will help you along. I'll have a counsellor come to talk to you also. Do you have any questions?" Dr Green asked with a sympathetic smile.

Yes about a million and one. Only one seemed like a normal question though. "When will I be allowed go home?"

"In a week or so. It depends on your physical progress. As you may have guessed you fell off a boat and were washed ashore. This has taken a major toll on your body so take it easy." He got up and walked to the door. "I'll have to talk with your family now so you should get some rest". Then he left.

**Hi, sorry the chapters seem to be going slow but this is the last of it. Let me know what you think i should ****include or improve on. thanks!**


	5. Remember

_I was on the roof of Billings. I had to call the police. They killed Thomas! I wouldn't believe anything they ever said again. I saw the picture. Then Arianna was there she was going to kill me. She admitted she killed Thomas. She had a crazed look in her eye. Then Noelle was there. She saved me. But she ruined my life all at the same time._

I woke up in a cold sweat my heart beating so fast I could hear it. Then I burst out crying. I knew it wasn't just a dream like we say to children all the time. Everyone thought Thomas ran away when really they left him tied up in a field for Arianna to go back and finish the job. They got Josh framed for murder. I felt like screaming. They were supposed to be my friends. They got my first real boyfriend killed. I couldn't believe how nice they were when they knew all along! I never even got to ask where Arianna was yesterday. Now I know what happened to her.

I sat there for God knows how long before my heartbeat slowed and my tears stopped. I was mentally preparing myself for when Noelle would come in. I was thankful that my family wasn't here.

When I heard the door open I steeled myself ready to take her on. Noelle walked in with a huge smile and arms open. She took one look at me and haltered her steps. Her smile disappeared returned by a look of concern. She really was a good actress.

"Get out," I stated as calmly as I could. She looked so confused it made me even angrier.

"Reed, what's-" she said coming closer.

"OUT!" I roared before she could take another step. "I remember Noelle. You don't need to pretend to be nice anymore. You killing Thomas," I yelled. Shock passed over her face. She opened her mouth to protest but I cut her out. "You might not have done it yourself but you may as well have. Thomas was a person, my boyfriend, and you .. you abused him. Then you blamed Josh. You nearly got him locked up Noelle! Just to protect yourself. Nobody matters once you're ok. Is that your motto?" I huffed out a breath. Noelle used this opportunity to speak.

"Reed you don't remember everything, clearly. I said I was sorry and I'll say it again. But what we did for Thomas was for you. How were we supposed to know that Arianna was a psycho?"

"You were never my friend. You wanted to keep me close so I wouldn't tell anyone your secret," I sneered.

"I'll leave now because I can see your upset and won't listen to a word I say. Just try to remember everything else," she said matter-of-factly. "Please," she said before leaving with one last sad desperate look in my direction.

Well Ms Noelle Lange begging, that was new. I wasn't sure if I wanted to scream or cry. Both probably.

I breathed out a breath I didn't realise I was holding. Then there was a knock on my door. Please don't be Scott or my parents I wouldn't be able to deal with their sympathy right now. I decided not to shout an answer, hoping they would go away. But of course with my luck the door slowly opened.

Josh stuck his head in with a weary look. I had flash backs to all the times we would sneak away. To the times we would talk, laugh and just sit together. My chest tightened looking at him, remembering us together.

"I heard shouting and then Noelle leaving looking a bit upset," he said remaining outside.

"I remembered things."

"Really? That's great!"

I looked at him and then his face dropped.

"Oh I'm sorry Reed I forget how much you've been through sometimes. Do you want to talk about it?"

"I'm sorry about Billings nearly ruining your life. You nearly went to jail because of their lies," I shook my head. I looked to see Josh smiling. "What's funny?"

"You helped me. You're not like them. Recently they have actually improved on their behaviour towards others because of you," he leaned against the doorway.

"You can come in you know." I noticed he was leaving space between us this time.

"I know but I have to go collect Ivy from the airport."

"Who's Ivy?" I asked. Josh hesitated and looked around my room before answering. He shuffled his feet a little.

"My girlfriend," he softly said.

"Oh," I whispered. I wasn't sure what my feelings were for Josh now. I just knew how good I felt when we were together. He was there for me when Thomas went missing.

"Can I ask you a question?" he asked after a couple of seconds of silence.

"Sure."

"What is the last thing you remember about us?"

I gazed out my window trying to recall the last thing I remember about him before I woke up here.

"We were together," I slowly said trying to recall. "It was Cheyenne's party. We were having a great night. Then we went to the hot tub with everybody. I got a text from the girls asking me to meet them upstairs. Then we fought and that night I found out about Arianna." I didn't realise I was gripping the sheets until after and slowly unclenched my fingers. That night appears will always haunt me.

"It seems we disagreed a lot about Billings. Is that why we broke up?" I was surprised that my voice sounded so calm when I really wanted to shout and demand why we broke up when we were so great together. Who was this Ivy girl anyway? Was she the reason? I started to really dislike this girl and I didn't even know her. Get a grip Reed clearly you and Josh are over each other. I let out a long breath trying to relax.

"Well not exactly it's a long stupid story. Look I better go," Josh rushed to say and then he hurried out of the room. What was with him leaving so quickly with me? Maybe we ended our relationship on bad terms.

I decided to put Josh out of my mind. Clearly whatever feelings I felt for him were in my head.

The next two days consisted of me catching up with my family and getting better. Taylor came to visit me and was a blubbering mess. I eventually forgave her for her involvement with Thomas. She was nothing more then a silent witness. I remember now how hard she took it when he was missing. This calmed her down but not before she insisted I stay with her here in St Barths for the rest of the break. Yet again another thing I didn't know, apparently I planned to stay here for my break.

"You don't even remember how beautiful it is so you have to see it again!" She insisted happily. I found it hard to say no so she was picking me up tomorrow when the hospital said I could leave.

My family on the other hand were headed home. I was going to miss them. Even my mother.


End file.
